Words apart

What's the difference between jealousy and possessiveness? Sooz and I were discussing this the other day and, still unsure, I have consulted the dictionary on my Palm (PDA) - SlovoEd 4.14, content by Princeton University. Sure enough, it has definitions for both.

possessive
Adj
1) (all) desirous of owning
2) (all) having or showing a desire to control or dominate
3) (pert) (grammar) serving to express or indicate possession
Synonyms: genitive

jealous
Adj
1) (all) showing extreme cupidity
Synonyms: covetous; envious; green
2) (all) suspicious or unduly suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival
Synonyms: green-eyed; overjealous

Cupidity - what's that? Something to do with the little fellow with the diapers and archery equipment? Apparently nothing quite as romantic ... not that some people would see jealousy as being the slightest bit romantic either.

cupidity
Noun
(attribute) extreme greed for material wealth
Synonyms: avarice; avariciousness; covetousness

So - jealous or possessive? Neither is a good look.
And the difference between jealousy and envy? Sooz reckons that in jealousy you preserve the good of your 'loved one' (making the other party the 'baddie'); with envy you want to destroy what the other person has.
Neither is a good but crimes of passion inspired by jealousy seem to be less reviled than a cold premeditated envy-driven homicide!