Column centimetres

Poor Mason. His letter in today's "Vent Your Spleen" column in MX had him giving a serve to the boys on the 8.50am city train who laughed at his flatulence. "Body eructations are rarely funny" his letter started - sending me to my dictionary for the definition "a reflex that expels wind noisily from the stomach through the mouth". While I was there I also checked "flatulence" - which could be either "a state of excessive gas in the alimentary canal" or "pompously embellished language". You just have to love English!